The things some people do in secret belie their words and the commitments that people know them for. They seek God passionately in public while they live in flagrant defiance in secret. Jesus would not entrust Himself to such people. He did not entrust himself to the Jews because he knew them – they did not actually seek Him, they sought the miracles they could get from Him. John 2:24. This explains why many people will never find God.
O Lord, would you entrust yourself to me? If you do not, I am undone. If you do not, my life will never be of eternal significance. I do not want to follow you while there is still something in me that repels you. What is that thing, Lord? What is that thing that would not make you reveal yourself to me? What is that thing that would not make you feel at home in me so that you could fellowship with me? What is in me? Is it pride, Lord? Love for things of the world? What is it, Lord? My heart often comforts me that all is well, but I am not content until I hear those very words from you. Is the state of my heart right before you? Would you reveal to me who I am? Unearth the motives of my heart, Lord. Search me thoroughly. Probe me and reveal to me what is the real driving force of my life.
Would Jesus be moved when he sees our sacrifices and longings for Him? Will he arise to wipe our tears of longingness for Him and tell us, “I am here, beloved”? What fills my heart? What is my motivation for coming to Him?
When God summons all my possessions before Him to give account of all I am doing now in secret:
• Would my bed tell God about my tears which wet it every now and then because I sought God?
• Would my Bible testify to my great passion when I turned its pages with all seriousness because I was searching for God?
• How about my plates and spoons? Would they recount to God the moments they had waited to serve me but waited in vain because I was hungry for God?
• How many times did my phones and electronic gadgets had to due to the incessant worship songs, books, and articles they had to serve me with, even when they were not in the mood to do so?
• Would my clothes tell God that I was very strict on them, insisting never to wear anything that would hide His image in me?
• Certainly, my books would report to God about my quest for the knowledge of God.
• Would my room tell God with great euphoria that it played host to the presence of God not once, not twice but countless times. Would God remember those moments with great delight?
• Would money hang its head in shame because it could not bring me to my knees before it? That I’ve distributed it to those who needed it before it suggested that item to me, which I did not need?
• How about the night? The place where I seek to be with God daily? The office? The department? The market? What do these have to say about me?
Have we ever given thought to these things? What will our possessions tell God about us?